i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
the raccoons are back...
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