is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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