why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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