I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
