There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
