I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
