So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
