I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
