dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
