white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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