The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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