I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
