would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
