Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
