Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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