i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
