she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize