I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
