I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
