He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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