So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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