I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
