Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
