just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
