We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
