Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
