im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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