It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
