i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
