yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he puts the penis in happiness.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
