We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
