it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
