Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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