I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i out mim tonsoeep
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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