i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
