Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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