For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
