I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
