my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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