I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
