i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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