she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
