im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
