There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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