He is an equal opportunity slut.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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