all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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