the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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