i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
