my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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