Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Can you bring me the toilet please
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
