I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
