Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
