garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
