wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
