The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
