Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
