Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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