Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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