Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
