New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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