Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
